


A Hundred Indecisions

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-17
Updated: 2007-04-24
Packaged: 2019-01-19 14:46:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12412338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: 'Do I dare? Do I dare disturb the universe?'A series of introspections.





	1. Visions and Revisions

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**Visions and Revisions**

 

To Remus, life was nothing if a reversion.

 

When he was at Hogwarts, during the summer holidays, he'd read poetry. When he was fifteen, he'd read The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. It was so familiar, preparing faces, the taking of toast and tea. He'd always go back to T.S. Eliot. He went through a Doone phase too. Eventually, he'd collected a whole bunch of poems, copied them out into a little exercise book. He liked having Keats' autumn next to Pablo Neruda's fleas and he'd inherited his love of Dylan Thomas' bouncing syllables from his Welsh father.

It took him ages to work out why his father used to feel guilty about the bite. Two years after he was bitten, when he was eight, and he overheard a conversation his parents were having. Dumbledore had become Headmaster and Remus could go to Hogwarts. But they weren't just taling about that. They were talking about Greyback, Fenrir Greyback and how his dad couldn't have let it pass, and because of that his son...his son was bitten.

Remus was shocked. It hadn't been some poor man with a little goatee and a tweed jacket who'd made him what he was. It was Fenrir Greyback and he did it because he liked it and he didn't like Remus' dad.

Almost thirty years later, Remus was taking orders from Fenrir Greyback because Dumbledore had become Headmaster of Hogwarts and let Remus go and Remus had to show he was grateful somehow.

Greyback liked biting. Greyback liked biting children, even a fortnight before the full moon. There was something truly seedy, paedophilic about that, Remus thought. He knew he'd become bitter because of it, felt out of place in the happy Weasley home that Christmas, felt bad for Tonks and the way he was treating her, but everyone has their limits. Conversing, eating, _living_ with the type of people that had made it impossible for Remus to get a job. It was abhorrent, degrading. The right thing to do.

Remus managed to get a job at Hogwarts only a few years ago, Dumbledore being the man he is. Harry was just as he'd expected: there was an obvious thirst to prove himself, a passion for Quidditch. He was just as convinced of Snape's character. Somehow he'd managed to be a less confident James with Lily's maturity, and yet still be judge character in a wholly monochrome way.

And, of course, Harry was fascinated by Sirius. And Sirius was thrilled to have Harry,

Sirius always got impulsive when a Potter was involved, Remus found. Remus did just the same for Sirius. When Sirius left home aged sixteen, he was as much trying to get closer to the Potters as he was moving away from the Blacks. For all his rebellious antics, Sirius wanted nothing more than to have a bit of security and a couple of ageing parents who'd love nothing than to spoil him rotten. Sirius pretended he didn't care when he saw Bellatrix's name in the papers, or when Regulus was killed, but it made him bitter, hardened.

Sirius would die for a Potter, would be killed by a Black. 

Remus found himself reading his book of poems again. He found that some were redundant to him. Fleas were not dancers of the celestial sphere, were not machines. He supposed it was just composed for communism. He tore out some of the blank lined pages at the end of the book, tore them up, revelled in fragmenting them. He tried doing it with the poems but he couldn't. He couldn't destroy Eliot, so instead he tried to decipher it. He read the Wasteland again for the first time in twenty years.

 

Remus had to go back, somehow. 


	2. Banshee

To be quite honest, Seamus had had enough of her.

She was just so ever present and overbearing. The way she'd pushed every single person into supporting Ireland if they had happened to stray near their tent during the World Cup. He remembered when she'd berate him for not being on the Gryffindor team. She'd constantly have something to say. Constantly.

He couldn't go to to his dad about such things, what with Niall Finnagan being a Muggle. He was pleasant and mild and sensible, and Seamus had never understood how the pair had got married. Nice as he was, Seamus' father never understood Quidditch.

At the time, the month's after Ireland's victory, Seamus didn't mind so much. She did have a point. After all, Seamus did want to play for Gryffindor, touch the House cup after winning, throw the Quaffle into and hear the crowds cheer...of course Seamus wanted that.

It was the summer after Cedric Diggory had died that she'd become increasingly critical of Dumbledore, and Harry too. Seamus had to agree with lots of what she had to say, after all, it was true that Harry was Dumbledore's favourite and Paseltonguy is a bit iffy and they wouldn't kick Dumbledore out of the Wizengamot and International Confederation of Wizards without a reason, would they? So, when they all went back that September, Seamus just had to ask Harry what happened that night. There was no need for him to start overreacting the way he did. Then Dean said he wasn't stupid and so didn't tell his parents about Cedric, but he didn't get it. Dean didn't have Seamus' mother. You tell her stuff just to stop her from going on the whole time.

She'd always be doing that, constantly nagging, always having a go, never one to just let it be. She always wanted more from Seamus, always comparing him to other people. She was always screeching.

It took him the middle of his Fifth Year that Seamus realised. The screeches, the wails. He was terrified of banshees and he was scared of his own mother too. So when she came up to Hogwarts to take him before Dumbledore's funeral the next year, he was very surprised to find that he refused.

"What? What do you mean, you're not coming, Seamus? We're going. Now!"

But Seamus wasn't having any of it. "No! I'm not going and I'm not listening to you. You want me to miss Dumbledore's funeral? I'm not missing it." He didn't care that half the school could probably hear them. "Do what you want, leave if you like. But I'm not going. Not till the end of term."

And that was that. She'd never been so quiet as she was at that moment. Seamus was quite pleased. Breathing rather more heavily than usual, he went back to the Great Hall and sat down next to Dean.

 

_A/N: Actually, I'm_ _unsure about this one, and the title too. Any thoughts and criticism_ _would be appreciated._


End file.
